In Croydon town last week br I chanced to have to use br The fully automated br Hygienic push-button br Toilet complex - recently installed. br br Confronted by a row br of gleaming stainless doors br labeled aggressively (and also in Braille) br I pressed the 'vacant' button. br A door opened automatically br and I entered the stainless world. br br Inside the sound of stainless music br filled the air and a stainless voice br (American) said emphatically br 'Push button to close door. br You have ten minutes.' br br With some trepidation, br confronted wth such a time limit, br I sat upon the stainless seat br and pressed a button br which released paper - slowly br one sheet at a time. br br After hastily completing my task br I stood and failed to find br a button to flush the stainless bowl br (without the usual lid to close) br Again I heart the steely voice command br 'Wash your hands and the toilet br will flush automatically' br br Guiltily I held my hands under br the stainless tap and let the water run. br The door released, the music stopped br and I made a hasty retreat. br br Henceforth when taken short, br I'll use the dunnies at the railway station br despite their broken seats br and piss-stained concrete floors.