Octopimp finally reveals the terrible secrets of Ski Free! br Written by Phil and Chadbr br Voiced by Octopimp:br br br Art by the one and only DJ Ross:br br br .br br Edited by Ian Maplesbr br br Transcript:br br Bill Gates was the man - he had the money, the power, the world’s premiere spreadsheet program, but he also had a terrible secret: The Microsoft Ski Resort.br br br One fateful night, at the annual Christmas Party, an employee described his vision of the PC going beyond the realm of word processing and slideshow presentations, and in a fit of rage, Bill banished him to the cold, never to return. However, his exile didn’t kill him - he instead survived the only way he knew how… by setting fires to trees and eating wild dogs that had somehow wandered onto the slopes.br br br The world forgot about him, but he didn’t forget about Bill. He not only survived… he adapted… evolved even. Soon, an entire pack of wild dogs couldn’t sate his hunger. He was always hungry. Always… so hungry.br br br He needed more and there was only one thing that tasted better than wild dogs: Revenge… and human flesh. What better way to satisfy both urges than to prey on unsuspecting Microsoft employees zipping down the slopes? And so feasted on every soul who had miraculously made it through the rocks and trees and dogs at exactly 2000 meters down the mountain. Decades have passed, and yet, this Abominable Snow Monster still lives, waiting for the one day Bill would ski freely into his hungry jaws.