Things br the matters in Helen’s life br never went smoothly for her br nevertheless she endured them br but finally br it must all have been br too much. br She died of a broken heart yet br rumors br circulated she had taken br her own life. br Helen’s son died of AIDS in 1984 br never reaching br his 29th birthday br left instructions br as to what he wanted br after he was dead. br It must have helped him br die. br He asked for br an Orthodox Jewish Funeral br although he had never practiced br Judaism, the faith br into which he was born. He also br requested br a Memorial Service be held br 100 days following br his interment. br For the first month after his death br David, his lover, and Helen br spent br many long hours br together br each needing br the other. br In the third month br David began seeing br another man. br Helen felt br that wasn’t right br that he should have been br loyal br the way she was br loyal br should have lived out br the grief br she was living out. br At the Memorial Service br I handed her a copy of br The Inner Chapters br by Chuang-Tzu. br She gently br kissed my cheek br and at night br she slept br never waking again as br Helen.