I blew my nose this morning and a red convertible matchbox car I had stuck up there when I was five flew out and hit the bird in the side of his head causing him to squawk loudly and that scared the shit out of the dog who then barked and startled my wife who was sleeping in late this morning rather than go shopping for all the sales with no money… br Having fully recovered from the shock of finding a long lost item from my childhood past I soon noticed I could breathe much better having cleared one nostril so I decided to blow out the other one only this time I blew much too hard and instead of anything being dislodged from my nose a rectal thermometer that my grandmother on my mother’s side had used on me as an infant the year I had the German measles in Washington Court House, Ohio, it being the same year the Russians launched the monkey into outer space, rocketed out of my ass and hit the bird in the side of his head once again only this time knocking him from his perch and onto the floor where he repeatedly squawked some more which scared the shit out of the dog who then ran through the house in fear and startled my wife a second time causing her to run hurriedly out of the house in her attempt to escaped the madness as she yelled at the top of her lungs….