There was a queer smell in the house and it wasn’t the dog br Having provided her with the customary bi weekly bath br She smelled only a tad like a hound br A suspicious electric air dispersion heater br Had been on all night and remained plugged into the living room's wall br Other than that there was nothing in the house that was seeming odd br Just the smell... br Of crab bake or spoiled fish, maybe shrimp or clams br Something to do with seafood or piss was my best guess br While the dog did her best not to appear the least bit concerned br From the choking but non deadly fumes in the room br Checking the parrot for signs and symptoms of suffocation br He squawked the all clear with the greatest of volume br And by now the dog was observed covering her face with her paws br The search continued br My wife is the one with the nose for scandals and their smells br She approached it from the empty clothes hamper br To the guest room's shower br Looking for something damp or wet that had begun to mold br Seeming under duress but not being held for further questioning br The dog behaving suspiciously was seen leaving the room br By removing her shoes my inquisitive wife put on her Sherlock Holmes cap br And dug her toes and heels into the carpet's nap br Because if there was one thing she knows br It is a fact that some women and dogs just can’t hold their water br Tiring of the search I grabbed a beer to clean my pallet br About to retire to my upstairs office for a go at some storytelling br I stepped in a puddle at the top of the stairs br Suddenly finding myself flying through the air without the benefit of chute br Then landing most soundly with a thump on my rump br Spilling not so much as one mere driblet from my bottle br I had by accident quite literally discovered br The source of the odd and queer odor… br And the dog….