She makes a decent apple pie br at the Wonky Spoon Cafe br where eggs are easy over br and chips all deep fat fried. br Full English breakfast every day, br the bacon is real good br but how she scowls is scary br and turns folk off their food. br She makes the cream turn sour br and customers all cringe br as they slurp their mugs of tea br and eat their mushy peas. br Her face can scare most patrons br but worse, far worse than this br her husbands manic chortles br can cause their bums to hiss. br So if you'd like a pasty, br don't try the Wonky Spoon br for though the food is passable br the atmosphere is cruel. br She nails down all the cutlery br and though she lends out plates, br God help you if you dare return br a single plate too late. br She'll scold you and berate you br call you thief and more, br she'll bar you from the cafe br and throw you out the door! br A nasty piece of work, br there's no one can deny br but blow me down and whistle br she makes mean apple pie.