March 2007 br and I'm writing poems-dead poems br all that I should have buried. br They rot me! like a cancer br consuming me, corrupting my br every thought and emotion br leaving me angry, bitter and sad. br I tell myself it's only a state of mind, br that it will pass br but it never does, br it never will. br br March 2007! br and I'm posting dead poems when I met her, . br the stale, unvaried collection br of poetic death, depression, sorrow- br the stench of decay br permeating the existence br that had become my life br br She calls herself br 'Nellie Angeline'! Angel of Mercy! br She tells me she's loves me! she'l save me! br that my words stir her emotions- make her laugh! make her cry! br She tells me, she has sparkling eyes br that turn pretty blue green when she cries, br with long brown copper hair br and a sun kissed freckled face! br and I'm infatuated br Utterly, - hopelessly, - foolishly. br br She sends me letters! br handwritten letters! br with a drawing of her sitting by the sea at sunrise, br that It's our destiny to meet at last br our souls finally together again br locked in 'spiritual penetration' br 'SHE'L BE MY NELLIE ANGELINE! '' br FOREVER AND ALWAYS br always br ......but never br br She coddles me! br cradles me! br br cajoles me! with her bracketed verbs - br br [ HUG ] [ KISS ] [ SIGH ] [ UUGGGH ] br and every night br I long for the touch br of her soft keystrokes against my lonely love starved soul. br br AND THEN SHE LEAVES ME! ! br in deceit and lies br only to return to find her message in 'poetboy's' box! ! br ' I'l be your Angel of Mercy', br I'l save you! ! ' br br My wretched soul! br it rots me like a cancer! br consuming me! corrupting br my every thought and emotion, br leaving me angry, bitter and sad.