Laurie was my dog br And he loved to bite br He wasn't very clever br And not at all bright. br He didn't like my friend br A mad poet called Fred br One day Laurie bit him br On the back of his head. br Fred wasn't at all pleased br And bit my dog back br So Laurie retaliated br And went on the attack. br They wrestled on the floor br And Fred got bit a lot br So to get my dog off him br I hit the mutt with a flowerpot. br But Laurie was very tough br And the pot bounced off his head br Then poor old Fred stopped moving br In fact he was now Dead. br I didn't know what to do br The poet didn't deserve to die br Looking down at Laurie br I asked this crazy dog Why? br But he just didn't care br And kept chewing at Fred br This loony dog was eating him br The he swallowed dead Fred's head. br Poor Fred was now all gone br But this must have been his fate br To lose his life to a psycho dog br The poet Laurie ate.