Auntie ironed creases br On all the clothing pieces br So that her kids and husband wouldn't carp br She wouldn't by devices br Used trousers to cut slices br With creases that were far to bloody sharp br br Auntie sliced the veggies br Then cut spuds into wedgies br And buttered 'hovis' slices for us teas br Then took her husbands trousers br To point some local houses br And chop herself some fire-wood from trees br br Auntie's now in prison br They came to a decision br That Auntie's ironing caused a lot of harm br Her husband lost his footing br His trousers sharp and cutting br Had accidently severed his left armbr br steve stirkbr br