She looked out the window on Christmas day br And could scarce believe her eyes br For what she saw beyond all doubt br Was a wonderful surprise. br A motor car all nicely wrapped br With ribbons, baubles and bells. br She thought 'Of all the gifts I've had br This certainly excels'. br She loved her old car sure enough br But in it had no trust br So unrebloodyliable, br A four-wheeled pile of rust. br So she was thrilled and tickled pink, br 'Oh darling! How nice this is! ' br She grabbed him, squeezed him oh so tight br And smothered him with kisses. br Then in her hand he pressed the key, br She thanked him and looked down, br But then her smiles all disappeared br And Changed into a frown. br These keys weren't new, she knew them well - br She'd had them several years. br They were the keys to her old car. br Now she was near to tears. br 'I couldn't get another car', br He told her 'For I know br How much you love your Escort br And could never let it go, ' br 'You are a rotten sod, you know, br You really had me going. br You must have known what I'd have thought br When I saw what was showing, br But I've got nothing new at all, br That wrapping is a jest. br Your sense of humour really stinks, br I'm not the least impressed! ' br 'And nor am I' his curt reply br 'Now just you hang about! ' br He started getting angry br And his anger made him shout. br 'Why not unwrap the bloody thing? br I've got you something nice.' br br She did - and found inside the car br A pair of dangling dice.