(This is a fictional poem) br br On July the 4th I decided to light a firecracker with my cigarette. br It was something I soon lived to regret. br I accidentally threw my cigarette to the ground and put the firecracker in my mouth. br It exploded and all of my teeth came flying out. br After lighting a roman candle, the contents came down and burned off my hair. br Now my head is bald and scorched and everybody stares. br A bottle rocket flew up my shorts and blew off one of my nads. br Now I walk with a cane and I sure am mad. br I'm bald, sterile and I can no longer taste. br I'm not the man I used to be. What a waste.