Once I seen a human ruin br In a elevator-well. br And his members was bestrewin' br All the place where he had fell. br br And I says, apostrophisin' br That uncommon woful wreck: br "Your position's so surprisin' br That I tremble for your neck!" br br Then that ruin, smilin' sadly br And impressive, up and spoke: br "Well, I wouldn't tremble badly, br For it's been a fortnight broke." br br Then, for further comprehension br Of his attitude, he begs br I will focus my attention br On his various arms and legs-- br br How they all are contumacious; br Where they each, respective, lie; br How one trotter proves ungracious, br T' other one an alibi. br br These particulars is mentioned br For to show his dismal state, br Which I wasn't first intentioned br To specifical relate. br br None is worser to be dreaded br That I ever have heard tell br Than the gent's who there was spreaded br In that elevator-well. br br Now this tale is allegoric-- br It is figurative all, br For the well is metaphoric br And the feller didn't fall. br br I opine it isn't moral br For a writer-man to cheat, br And despise to wear a laurel br As was gotten by deceit. br br For 'tis Politics intended br By the elevator, mind, br It will boost a person splendid br If his talent is the kind. br br Col. Bryan had the talent br (For the busted man is him) br And it shot him up right gallant br Till his head began to swim. br br Then the rope it broke above him br And he painful came to earth br Where there's nobody to love him br For his detrimented worth. br br Though he's living' none would know him, br Or at leastwise not as such. br Moral of this woful poem: br Frequent oil your safety-clutch.