All stark and cold the merchant lay, br All cold and stark lay he. br And who hath killed the fair merchant? br Now tell the truth to me. br br Oh, I have killed this fair merchant br Will never again draw breath; br Oh, I have made this fair merchant br To come unto his death. br br Oh, why hast thou killed this fair merchant br Whose corpse I now behold? br And why hast caused this man to lie br In death all stark and cold? br br Oh, I have killed this fair merchant br Whose kith and kin make moan, br For that he hath stolen my precious time br When he useth the telephone. br br The telephone bell rang full and clear; br The receiver did I seize. br "Hello!" quoth I, and quoth a girl, br "Hello! . . . One moment, please." br br I waited moments ane and twa, br And moments three and four, br And then I sought the fair merchant br And spilled his selfish gore. br br That business man who scorneth to waste br His moments sae rich and fine br In calling a man to the telephone br Shall never again waste mine! br br And every time a henchwoman br Shall cause me a moment's loss, br I'll forthwith fare to that office br And stab to death her boss. br br Rise up! Rise up! thou blesséd knight! br And off thy bended knees! br Go forth and slay all folk who make br Us wait "One moment, please."br br Franklin P.