(This is a fictional poem) br br Because of my suspicious nature, things got pretty grim. br You were home alone with my buddy and I beat the hell out of him. br When I saw you two in my house, I thought you were cheating. br I didn't wait for an explanation, I just gave him a good beating. br The two of you were planning a surprise party for my birthday. br I took my marriage and my friendship and I threw them both away. br Now I'm crying in my beer and I'm eating crow. br When I asked if you two could ever forgive me, you both said no.