Let's straighten this out, my little man, br And reach an agreement if we can. br I entered your door as an honored guest. br My shoes are shined and my trousers are pressed, br And I won't stretch out and read you the funnies br And I won't pretend that we're Easter bunnies. br If you must get somebody down on the floor, br What in the hell are your parents for? br I do not like the things that you say br And I hate the games that you want to play. br No matter how frightfully hard you try, br We've little in common, you and I. br The interest I take in my neighbor's nursery br Would have to grow, to be even cursory, br And I would that performing sons and nephews br Were carted away with the daily refuse, br And I hold that frolicsome daughters and nieces br Are ample excuse for breaking leases. br You may take a sock at your daddy's tummy br Or climb all over your doting mummy, br But keep your attentions to me in check, br Or, sonny boy, I will wring your neck. br A happier man today I'd be br Had someone wrung it ahead of me.