She was four, he was one, it was raining, we had colds, br we had been in the apartment two weeks straight, br I grabbed her to keep her from shoving him over on his br face, again, and when I had her wrist br in my grasp I compressed it, fiercely, for a couple br of seconds, to make an impression on her, br to hurt her, our beloved firstborn, I even almost br savored the stinging sensation of the squeezing, br the expression, into her, of my anger, br "Never, never, again," the righteous br chant accompanying the clasp. It happened very br fast-grab, crush, crush, br crush, release-and at the first extra br force, she swung her head, as if checking br who this was, and looked at me, br and saw me-yes, this was her mom, br her mom was doing this. Her dark, br deeply open eyes took me br in, she knew me, in the shock of the moment br she learned me. This was her mother, one of the br two whom she most loved, the two br who loved her most, near the source of love br was this. br br br Anonymous submission.