Lately I've sat here afternoons br just listening to the br gluttonous newsmen argue br br about fathers who kill br their wives and kids br then spirit off to Mexico. br br My life's knee-deep br in fathers, embedded br in my own shaky tenor, br br and though mine's as good as dead br my life still wakes up and pees. br My world's still on fire. br br If I could be anywhere else br in the world, if I could be anything br but ham-handed today, I could cheer on br br the vacationing comedian br who finds one this morning br hidden in a hut. br br I could be vindicated. br What I mean is all this father-surrendering br gets me tired, br br that it's getting old, br that it's the most difficult part of my day.