Dozens of women chase after my half brother. br He only has half the hair that I do because he has a human mother. br Lots of women jump his bones because of his lack of hair. br Not even one of them have jumped my bones and it's unfair. br Just for once I wish that I was the one who the women adore. br But they rip my brother's clothes off and I always get ignored. br I'm frustrated because of this anger that I harbor. br People say that can be fixed by a trip to the barber. br My brother keeps getting women; he's knocked up over twenty this year. br Because I'm nearing forty and am unmarried, my mom thinks I'm a queer. br I went to the doctor yesterday because I felt under the weather. br He said that I have virginitis which means I'll be a virgin forever. br My brother rubs it in when he and his ladies get together because they always have a hoot. br I may not have the women but at least I'm not the one who was just slapped with a paternity suit. br br (THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.