The man in the iron mask, br Has only one thing to ask. br That you stop all the self-pity; br And end all the falsity. br As it is getting on his nerves, br And he thinks he derseves br A little consideration. br As he needs some alteration, br From wearing a face chasity belt. br Which was put on him by Theodore Roosevelt. br Who, the man in the iron mask, unfairly felt; br That the man before the mask breath smelt. br Though the man offered protests that he had left his toothbrush at home; br So was inevertably forced to use a comb.