You brought our friendship to an end. br You betrayed me when you impregnated my girlfriend. br When I saw the two of you kissing, you said you were giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation. br I believed you because my brain is in a state of vegetation. br I should've known something was wrong when I saw you two in bed. br I believed you were just testing the quality of my mattress like you said. br For a short time I believed the baby was mine. br But then I remembered that I've been impotent since 1999. br When it's all said and done, I guess I have a very low IQ. br You'd better run because I'm going to shoot you.