Your dog is not a dog of grace; br He does not wag the tail or beg; br He bit Miss Dickson in the face; br He bit a Bailie in the leg. br br What tragic choices such a dog br Presents to visitor or friend! br Outside there is the Glasgow fog; br Within, a hydrophobic end. br br Yet some relief even terror brings, br For when our life is cold and gray br We waste our strength on little things, br And fret our puny souls away. br br A snarl! A scruffle round the room! br A sense that Death is drawing near! br And human creatures reassume br The elemental robe of fear. br br So when my colleague makes his moan br Of careless cooks, and warts, and debt, br -- Enlarge his views, restore his tone, br And introduce him to your Pet! br br Quod Raleigh.