[The names and some of the details of this report have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved - Ed.] br br Yes I'm afraid so. br Mr Smith and Mrs Jones from down the road. br Five years now. br It's Mr Jones I feel sorry for. br Though from what I hear... br But it's Mrs Smith who really miffs me. br We're supposed to be friends, I thought. br Not a word, not a hint, these five years. br I really feel - betrayed. br Of course the men and the women here have a different take on this. br Well you'd expect it, considering. br (My Jack laughed like a drain when he read the details. br Went out early to buy the News of the Screws he calls it.) br I think the bastard's envious. br Not a word, not a hint. br Even the vicar's wife didn't know. br At least Catholics have confession. br Though of course their parish priests don't have wives... br br I'm a historian. Was. The village well, br the parish pump, market day, after church, coffee mornings... br 'Social cohesion in rural communities'. br I B.A.- ed on it. br Say what you like, br gossip keeps a community together. br Five years. br No, I'm not going round to see her. br br I feel - betrayed...