This one's a real scorcher br A flaming true one too br The subject – my 'hot' sister br And the things she likes to do br She is of pale complexion br With a mop of ginger hair br Spray painted face of freckles br The fairest of the fair br With a burning bronze desire br To achieve a glowing tan br Change her skin from white to brown br Her ultimate new plan br She started on the baking br By basking in the sun br Forgot to check the cooking time br Which baked her over done br Next choice – a solarium br Which did the job quite well br But stewed it with a sun ray lamp br Igniting body swell br The chemist next was where she bought br A natural tanning cream br Caused streaky staining of her skin br Of rashers tangerine br But has she burnt her lesson yet br Hardly, I would say br I found her stir-fried in the wok br Just the other day br Contortion blows the microwave br Squeezing inflames the toaster br The oven is a better fit br Which helps to even roast her br Rotating on an open spit br Daily exercise br Sizzle, crackle, pop she goes br While she deep fat fries br The kitchen wouldn’t be the same br Without her tanning devices br Incineration causes ash br Amongst the herbs and spices br Smoulderingly pretty underneath br My searing kindling sister br But at the moment you could say br She’s one big walking blister. br br 1985 - An almost true story.