'Since your breakdown, Michael, br you've changed out of all recognition...' br Was I supposed to feel flattered, br since this was evidently meant as a compliment - br leaving a vapour trail of implications br about past behaviour across the clear sky of my mind? br br No, I did not feel flattered; br though agreeably unconcerned br about the degree of un-observation in an old friend; br how could he not see br that I was as I ever was, though br minus some things I could happily do without, br acquired along the way? br br Now I can begin to imagine Lazarus br called back from the dead, br unwinding his lifetime's shroud - br you wake up with a touch of cramp br to see a goggle-eyed bunch of familiar faces br telling you some frankly unbelievable story br in which you appear as the unwitting br central character; apart of course from Him; br and you should feel grateful for this? br when you're a beggar, the milk bill's not been paid, br and you're right out of wild honey? br br Ah, here's the pay-off br that the Bible omits to mention - br (unless I'm some special case) - br that like Lazarus, I entered the breakdown van br the world's beggar, br and emerged, a hell-and-back, br with new-found freedom and happiness, br and not a little gratitude, br br rich beyond riches.