I still have dreams that haunt me. br I'm back there as a child. br I see the drinks, the drugs and all. br I watch our family be defiled. br br In my dreams I try to help you. br I try to stop the pain. br The stress of changing whats been done br is driving me insane. br br I know that I was little. br I couldn't have changed a thing. br Then why do I feel so responsible br for almost everything? br br I feel I should have told you br I hated how we were. br It hurt to be so hungry. br I was afraid, alone and unsure. br br I know I was only one of five br and we all went through the pain. br I just can't keep from going back br and feeling it all again. br br If only I could have stopped you. br I could have saved you from the drugs. br I could have held you and begged of you. br But, oh yeah........you hated hugs. br br I try not to visit back there br but my dreams go where they may. br Each night I take a step back in time br I hear a little girl say......