From a very early age br I’ve labelled everything br From music, clothes and movies br To books and filling br br I categories people br By styles that suit them best br I imagine all their houses br to put theory to the test br br I’ll give you some examples br “Blaire” is beige corduroy br My mum is Marks & Spencer’s br And “Bush” a country boy br br Eminem is trailer trash br The queen would be antique br And up until just recently br I was Shabby Chic br br I made this observation br And saw my mortal sin br When I noticed that in all my rooms br Ikea had moved in br br It startled me at first you see br Because I’ve always thought br Ones personality reflects br In things that one has bought br br So if this is the case of it br I have gone to pot br From exquisite work of art br To white Formica rot br br It looks great if it isn’t moved br Or man handled too much br Its hidden imperfections br Aren’t seen unless you touch br br So is this what I’ve come to be br Shoddy workmanship br A piece of make-do furniture br That will end up at the tip br br I don’t believe this can be true br I have far too much class br I’m Shabby Chic through and through br Ikea’s in the arse br br I’m not Swedish either.