I'm sorry, I just br blacked-out, misspelled br that word, grossed br you out with my mouth br br full of food, bored br the room full of 'friends' br to tears with my vocal renditions br of the difference between br br punk and New Wave. br I heart the autumn, br but summer rules! br 'Love ya! See ya next year! ' br br Me: Best All Around br in my fake silk shirt br with wankin' collar points, br my feathered hair, br br the vacuous stare. br Me of the flared pants br who cared what people thought. br Me of the Chi Chi set. br br It's all a faded novel- br my past. A tiny street br where no cars pass, br not even my brother's br br bitchin' pick-up truck br with the silver license plate frame br that reads: Gas, Grass, or Ass- br No one rides for free. br br I've said too much. br Sometimes I'm so happy br I could scream: then br I fall to the floor in tears. br br 'Sometimes I love being poor' br a friend writes that I said that, br but what about leaves? br Briliant dying sails br br this time of year. br I won't admit to picking br out those hideous blue br curtains with sailing ships, br br maps and compasses br (I was young) , and besides, br there is no fall where br I'm from, only sun- br br light so alarming & constant br (like a wind-up clock) -even br the nights were bright. br The stars fifty miles away br br made a life devoid of all glamour br semi-bearable, in jr. high, br in the '80s, in the dark corners br of my slowly blackening mind.