What did I think was I doing here? br This was no old man*s cruise. br These waves belonged to the br Fresh faced, twenty something, sailors. br Their deference simply made it worse br br Even here in this dark Sonar room br faces tinged green from the screen*s glow br My heart holds only loneliness br my mind ever on her who’s smile haunts me br and even their young laughter jars br br The vow *never again* becomes a mantra. br And I dig inside myself for one, br Just one, small spark of joy br But my mind and heart are br Like the seas we sail, troubled and grey br br *We have a contact* brings me from the greyness br and on my screen the dots appear and grow br strange, unusual contacts, *Go to aural* headphones buzz. br Suddenly my heart lifts, my eyes swim and my soul soars, br as my head is filled with waves of whale song.