Albert Potter isn't dead br It were just a bloody lie br In fact, apart from athlete's foot br he's as fit as you or I br but someone’s got it in for him br they told the papers he were gone br that he’d popped his clogs br turned up his toes br that his soul had “travelled on” br EE! This fairly vexed old Albert br By Gum he did get mad br It’s not as If I’m old he said br Well …..I’m younger than my dad br But people keep on telling him br “Aye up Lad, thou art dead, br it’s in yon paper in big print br you died peacefully in bed.” br They keep bringing wreaths and sentiments br And knocking on the door br But then of course he answers it br And confusion reigns once more. br If it’s a joke, It ain’t that funny br In fact it’s pretty sick br Oh Albert plays the whole thing down br But it’s getting on his wick br So he phoned the local paper br And said can you print that I’m not dead br And whilst I like the flowers and sympathy br Could folk bring me beer instead.