it was another spontaneous New Year’s Eve br when we climbed the locked gate br outside the municipal park where br we laid on our backs looking up br at the stars sharing a bottle of br cheap champagne – the kind br of tart bubbly swill that br makes your tongue curl – she br wasn’t even that attractive in fact br she was a bit heavy for her frame br which was fine br i wasn’t there for sex anyway br br but more for her company; br to have someone to kiss at midnight br she told me how she was raped by her br brother’s best friend when she was 13 br and it awoke an insatiable demon br inside her longing to make peace br from that violent act with each boy br she had been with since br we all rape each other, she said, br it’s just that some times feel better than the others br her watch beeped madly at the stroke br of midnight and she clumsily pounced br on me and shoved her tongue in my mouth br br her hands pushed their way below my waist br as i lay there like a fresh corpse br not fully participating, but not reciprocating either br if she was aware of my apathy, she pretended br not to notice as she soon had br peeled my damp clothes off br and took full advantage of my naked body br while she begged for me to take her from behind br i held out as her mouth crawled all over br me like a groggy snail br before i reluctantly rolled a rubber on and obliged her br all the while with my eyes on the moon br wishing i were with someone elsebr br Rev. Dr. A.