The helmet for your motor bike br A big syringe with a scary spike br A bumper pack of sticky plasters br The revolting oil that comes from castors br A 15 story fire escape br A roll of yellow police-line tape br Some anti-venom for a viper br A convertible sportscar’s windscreen wiper br The insurance on your holiday br The barriers on the motorway br An emergency airplane parachute br The toe caps on a safety boot br The seatbelts in a motorcar br Your shaky knowledge of CPR br A cross-channel ferry inflatable jacket br An extra big super-strength laxative packet br The telephone number ‘999’ br A hangover cure for too much wine br A military-issue bulletproof vest br A terrifying HIV blood test br The kiss of life, a survival knife br A pre-nuptual agreement with your wife br A sentence full of sweary words br A stick for picking out stepped-on turds br A brand new mechanical replacement knee br A coffin that you’ll never see br The ejector seat on a fighter jet br A loan for consolidating debt br A desktop fan when it starts to swelter br A thermonuclear fallout shelterbr br Dave Birssbr br