Someone told me that when Jesus returns he is br going to be playing a trumpet. Is that true? br br Well, that got me to thinking about what kind of br music he might play. Will it be some complex br modal thing like Wynton Marsalis or Miles Davis br might play? That would be way cool but I can’t br imagine he would do that. I mean, I just don’t see br jazz on the Judgment Day soundtrack, do you? br And I think it would look silly for Jesus to be br walking down the street playing jazz trumpet. His br return should have more of a grandiose look to it. br br So what kind of music will it be? I know what br you’re thinking – some kind of majestic heralding br bugle thing, right? But that might come off br sounding like some dopey gladiator movie, and br people might think Victor Mature is returning br instead of Jesus. Gladiator bugles would be too br contrived. People might even laugh at the br hokiness of it and you certainly don’t want that br happening on such a momentous occasion. br br I was also thinking that Jesus might want to br consider handing off the trumpet duties to an br assistant or have it prerecorded because he’ll be br busy with the human selection process – saving br some people and sending others to their demise. br I just hope he doesn’t do that on a railroad br platform. I mean, Judgment Day is going to have br unavoidable Holocaust overtones anyway, so he br probably should go easy on the Auschwitz visuals.