I can't help wondering br if my life is one big joke. br Why must I feel so different? br Is it amusing to see me squirm in my own skin? br I just want to feel normal... br (whatever that is) . br I want to feel happiness.......without the guilt. br I want to feel passion...... without the shame. br I want to feel sadness.......without the hopelessness. br I want to feel love.......without feeling undeserving. br I just want to feel! br br I know... br br I want too much.