Its mammography day, ‘hip hip hooray’, I’m really not that scared, br I’ve had a few; I’m quite expert and thoroughly prepared. br br The waiting room is always cold and full of anxious faces, br The magazines are old and tired, with bits missing in some places, br The crosswords’ just a relay race to hand on empty spaces. br br I sit in line with other gals, our breasts all at the ready, br And hope the radiographer’s hands are warm, confident and steady, br But that does not escape the dread of machinery cold and heavy. br br In time I know the call will come, so gently sooth my pride, br My breast will out, and flop about, let dignity subside! br I know the doctor doesn’t mind, but I just want to hide. br br If you’ve never had a mammo’ then listen to the wise, br Prepare your breasts quite thoroughly, no matter what your size. br br You could slam them repeatedly in the front door of your car, br Or tie them to revolving doors, or squash them in a jar, br There really is no answer; it’s just uncomfortable by far. br br But when it’s done, relief does come and my bra I’ll rush to fetch, br And in the changing room alone I’ll sit, and on my mind I’ll etch, br The wonder of just how far one single breast can stretch.