You know how everyone is always griping and complaining br that Jesus never does any really blatant miracles to prove his br existence? Like, he could make all guns vanish with one br wave of his wand, or instantly heal all sick people in the br world (except for gay people with AIDS of course) . But you br know, if I was in Jesus’ shoes (sandals) , I would probably be br just as inactive as he is. I mean, I wouldn’t want to start a br stampede toward heaven, so I would just do subtle little br miracles, like make someone’s sock disappear in the dryer, or br move their bookmark to the previous page. And when they’d br pray to me, I wouldn’t answer most of the time. And when I br did answer, I’d do it in a sort of indirect and ambiguous way br so they’d have to spend time pondering and interpreting it. br br But after they’re dead, watch out! No more subtlety! Anyone br who didn’t pick up on the nuanced little clues of my br existence, well, it’s too late now! I’ll have the devil take an br electric belt sander to their faces.