I will close my eyes to wake within my nightmare. br It is the inevitable fate that is called my destiny. br I will sleep and they will rob me of my consciousness. br They will rob me of my precious control. br I will be helpless, as I am helpless right now. br I weep wondering what will happen if I do not wake. br Will it break my precious children? br Will anyone mourn my passing? br What is the legacy I will leave behind? br Will they only remember the nightmares? br Will anyone see me, just once, as I am? br I sit, alone, in the quiet of the dark night. br Alone, undefended, when I want simply to be held. br I yearn for someone to lie to me and tell me all will be fine. br Give me an illusion I can hold onto. br Give me something that is tangible that I can't break. br Take the crumbling shards of my heart and mend them. br I don't care if the mends are jagged or ugly. br The beauty lies in the mending. br It is the trust of a broken soul given to another. br It is the burden of the damned I bear. br It is in silence that I scream. br It is in laughter that I mourn. br It is in my soul to live. br And it is my fate to transcend. br I will close my eyes… br And I will not wake. br br Copyright 2006 A.J. McKinleybr br A.J.