When Cuthbert was cremated she was sad br But taking home his ashes she was glad br For in a way she'd always have him there br His company forever she would share. br br She kept them in a special cut-glass pot br Which from a local antique shop she'd got br And on the mantelpiece it always stood br And she was happy he'd be there for good. br br But visitors would see it in the room br And that is was an ashtray would presume br And in it cigarette ash they would drop br And very soon they filled it to the top. br br Her sister, seeing this, was quite appalled br And said there's much more ash since I last called. br 'That's very true, Miranda', she replied br 'He's really put some weight on since he died'.