McTavish was marooned, shipwrecked, alone br On a wondrous, tropical, paradise island br His living was fine, fresh water and food br But each day, sought company, and would dream of his Highlands br br Then a storm brought debris from a millionaires yacht br And a beautiful girl had washed up on the shore br A world famous Supermodel, those kind tides had brought br McTavish could never have wished for more. br br He dried her, and fed her, and warmed her by his fire br Until her full health, she’d regained. br And then made his move, and expressed his desire br She rebuffed, his request as insane. br br But as time progressed, she too felt the need br And succumbed to his coconut charm br And was pleasantly surprised, to find that indeed br Twas as long and as thick as his arm. br br For nigh on two weeks, she did jump on his bones br Till one night, McTavish said “No more! ” br He insisted on some Role Play, to rekindle her moans br Her refusal left her with no score br br He asked her to shave every hair from her head br And paint a false moustache, jet black br And until she agreed, their sex-life would be dead br No more, could she jump in his sack. br br She held out for weeks, till at last she gave in br Shaved her head to help restart desire br A Freddie Mercury tache she applied with a grin br From the embers of last night’s fire. br br She called to McTavish, “You can call me Bob! ” br Within seconds he commenced with his bragging br “Hello Bob, k’nell.