I shall miss my pet human, Steve. br I loved to play with him, br hear the gasps from the watching millions, br grinning my big toothy grin, br stretching up to grab the snack br knowing well that I could have snacked br on him instead or br knocked him aside, grabbed his baby, br gulp br but hey, who’s stoopid enough br to eat their meal ticket? br br Steve worked hard for me – br who has a pet that efficient, hard-working? br Better than a robot and br just as predictable. br He made all the arrangements, br kept me in luxury. br br And the really big deal, br We crocs get protected world-wide br if we pretend to behave around people br and so do all the animals, br which is a good thing br since we can all, each species, br do one thing at least better than any man.. br did you think of that, pet? br br So though humans, being the inferior br do-a-lot-of-things-but-badly species, br do lots of idiotic things br that would ruin the planet br that animals run so well br if you let us, br they’re OK as pets br if you treat them right br and we have to share the planet br with the idiots anyway br br don’t forget that animals br always know one thing above all – br is it in our interest br to kill our pet humans? br br that’s where that stoopid sting-ray br showed itself an inferior species, br guess it hadn’t known Steve br long enough to suss that out, br or got swollen head (well look at it) being br on TV, thought it was a character br in Neighbours br br What a waste – I’d trained him so well, br I wonder if he really knew that.. br anyway, we made a good double act.. br br I shall really miss my pet human, br Steve.