I am: br tired, confused, in love, drained, optimistic, doubtful, happy, lonely, sad, distant, showing signs of insanity, a fifty fifty split of left and right, a battle on two feet, creative, a poet, a vocalist, a musician, an ex-dancer, dedicated, brilliant, juxtaposed, normal, abnormal, difficult, dramatic, dark, light, transparent, a hard worker, a girly girl, lost in a world of dreams (that will never come true) , a sick cycle carousel of love and hate, a great friend, easily driven away but always there, an open door, revolving door, independent, dependent, loved, hated, jaded, a decent sales girl, a girl who would rather sit in an office than be on her feet, a smoker, sexually active, young, wise, a baker, impulsive, calculating, planning, indecisive, easily scared away, a sabotaging nightmare for relationships, easy to fall in love with, hard to stay in love with, replaceable, one of a kind...real. br br I am not: br difficult to please, difficult to talk to, stupid, shady, sly, crazy, fully functional, fully dysfunctional, a liar, conniving, manipulative, my mother, a bitch, traitor, lazy, lacking in vision or determination, happy with my job, anorexic (anymore) , always depressed, suicidal (since last October) , a quitter, one to turn her back on friends, a chef, faultless, guiltless, devoid of regret, writing every day, easily convinced, irrational, easily pushed aside, prepared to deal with reality, willing to talk to my family more than once every two weeks, hateful, religious, faithless, a guitarist, a flake, breaking myself to stay in love, afraid to tell the truth...fake.