I didn't plan it br but I took today br off from work br But not to play... br and for hours br as they burned away br I sat feeling br empty br I'm not sick br but certainly not OK br br I lied in my bed br and shook br thinking of my life br and giving it one hard look br knowing something's br gotta change br No happy thoughts came... br Now isn't br that strange? br With that I couldn't br bear the pain; br tears sheared so hot br yet fell like rain br I know the inevitable. br I'm spiraling down br and took a bottle br of pills br and washed it down. br br I was amazed to find br that I even did it br it's been rehearsed in my mind... br but there was br nothing to it. br So many times br I didn't pull that trigger, br but no guts, br no glory, br is what I figure. br br Then the room br started spinning 'round br Consciousness, I guess, br losing ground br even with my br mind all aflutter br I can still hear br the words you muttered... br I married you, br but I love another. br I closed my eyes br and gave one br last shudder. br br My last thought br before He takes me br is why make me love you br just to have br you hate me? br I've given all that I could br I've given you my heart br but it didn't do me any good.... br you couldn't love me br from the start. br But what br I find ironic br In my whole little plan... br is I die, as in life, br from which I'd ran... br Cold and empty br feeling br Lifeless and unhappy... br and is my fate br for all eternity.