Defenseless I lay, cuddled up snugly in bed; br I'd done nothing to invite his appearance in my head br Except to drink in the danger of manic eyes br Earlier in the flickering light of his odd-guy guise. br br I love the way he pretends to be something he is not; br That only I know the truth is a great turn-on. br His fake hysteria and nervous tics ties my gut in knots. br When he shows that toothy grin I am way far gone! br br Arresting me with commanding tones so moonshiney smooth, br Adam's apple bobbing high as he jerks and 'grooves'. br Whipping out that gun (unloaded) , what an apt metaphor br For sex appeal, raw-boned and real - - Ooo, he's never a bore. br br So calm down, baby... c'mon, honey... show me what you got! br Let's rip off that uniform - - I'll wear jussst your hat. br And what if you're skinny, just gimme that open-mouthed stare - - br Dear Don Knotts, I love you...