Out on the cloth laid the brave sixteen, together with a br sauce boat and one tureen. A bottle of champagne br was chilled to the bone as it stood in a bucket all alone. br Napkins were set in all four places, so that the enemy br could wipe their hungry faces. br The turkey was carved but this was no Thanksgiving, it br was a table battle and it was just beginning. br The battle commenced as soon as they ate it was like br no mans land as they filled their plate. br Half a league, half a league as they grabbed spuds br by the score, then half a league onward they fell to the br floor. Sprouts to the left of them carrots to the right, br boldly they went into the fight. br Into the jaws of death went the brave sixteen, but the br fight was not over it was becoming a battle scarred scene. br Pepper pot to the left and salt pot to the right as br they charged up the table on a cloth of white. br Champagne popping like cannon balls as they br volleyed and thundered then hit the walls; what br a battle of these drunken fools. br Then all what was left was the battery smoke, because br right through the line the tureen had broke. br Then the white linen cloth was used as a flag of surrender br because the sauce boat got angry and went on a bender. br Cranberry sauce looked like blood on the moor, when it br upped and turned then lay dead on the floor. br At the sight of the carnage the maid retreated, it was battle br won and she had been defeated. br As for the survivors and the brave sixteen they now have to be br tortured in a washing up machine.