Anti-gravitational trousers br seem to be an affliction br of the younger generation br in this nation br confirmed br by the older generation br as being an abberation: br br trendy jeans hanging off arses: br br despite the alleged 'classes'.... br br it is apparently classy br to have jeans hanging off-on the knee br so you can see br br everything... br br fashion banality. br br Unfortunately, br evidently br a little too much br of a pound or kilo of flesh. br waiting for a touch br br - my arse! br br As the years progress br thoughts digress br to comfortable fit br and the three-pound rings br on the fingers br linger br br and, br br oh shit... br br I need to cover my arse br by a little more than half. br br The trousers need to come up br (as do the wearers in the world) br and as their mental story unfurls br to their chest br at their behest br by their ironing wives' request br br (yes! yes!) br br along with their shoelaces br they buy braces br ever shorter br br as they ough'ter br when they start br to fart br and embarrass br their daughter br br Now his trousers reach his ears br his family will shed no more tears. br br They all know, you see, where he's at: br they accept him as a total twat. br br br (I would hasten to add that this is written with a huge amount of help from Tara. The expert in trousers.