Warm soft darkness br floating in love br encircled in invisible br arms, securely held, br endless liquid food flows. br br Noises somewhere thump, br thump, woosh, woosh br mysterious kindness within br and without br br But, no words. Feelings, br feelings and awareness. br br Suddenly..........REJECTION, br pushing, pushing away, away, br why, why, why? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? br br Physical pain, squeeeezing, br What is this? br Where is this from? br br All love is lost, blinding light, br cold, cold, cold, alone, alone, br br Explosion of all remembrance! ! br All past, present lost........... br only terror br br and something else, br br discovering my thumb br jammed in my mouth.