I can't get this off my mind and it's tearing me up, br I try to let go but it all comes crashing back again. br I try to deny how I feel towards you, br I try to ignore the pain, br but I can't pretend it's not there anymore. br br I know you love me, and I know it's not my fault, br but it's hard to get that knowledge into my broken heart. br I try to blame you for everything I feel, br I try to say it's you who ripped me apart, br but in my heart, I know that's a lie. br br I let the drama in my life come before God, br and that caused me lots of pain, br I tried to blame it on you, br to keep myself from going insane, br but it only made things worse. br br Now I see that the pain I felt was self-inflicted, br it was all my fault, br I was looking for happiness in all the wrong places, br meanwhile keeping my feelings locked in a vault, br which only resulted in a meltdown...or two...or three... br br Now I see the truth, but I'm fighting within, br I still want to blame you for everything I feel br and ignore the truth br I know is real: br I still love you.