Damn this tong! br br I wanted the perfection br of no knicker line br br showing br br and now, it's cutting me br to the bone. br br I feel like a br piece of cheese br br being cut in two br by a long thin wire! br br Oh the torture br he mistakeningly reads br as passion br br and now it's disappeared br ...you know where! br br I shift uneasily br trying to make it look br sexy. br br I grin br (more of a grimace) br and smooth my hair. br br I am thinking only br of me...'down there! ' br br He is probably too br but not in the same way. br br He tells me br he loves my smile br br ...if only he knew! br br I can grin br and bear it br br no longer br br excuse myself br br walk agonisingly br br to the loo br br dump the offending br garment br in the bin. br br Never again! br br Saunter br back in br br knickerless in a very short skirt br (better be careful of how I sit) br br give him br a kiss br br more out of relief br than anything else br br and order br another br Rum & Coke.