Life with an eating disorder is a life of pain br yes, i Will eat. but just enough to get by. or just enough to show the world that i do eat br there are occasional binges br the guilt is horrid. i have to purge right away. if i do not, i feel like i must suffer br the next step is self harm to pay for what i have done br never will i be thin enough, pretty enough. never ever will i be enough br many can't understand this way of life. br when my life is in complete turmoil and i can't seem to get a grip, my mind tells me one thing. br if i can starve myself, then i am in control. issue's and chaos are weighing me down. br so long without eating properly with cloud your thought's. the most awful mood swings. the smallest of issues seems like the end of the world. br keeping to myself. no motivation to live anymore. so weak i must force myself to even wash my hair. br it actually took 3 days to put a piece of paper in an envelope. still haven't put a stamp on it br my dog is never hungry. all the food i bring in my room is for him. br now my arms are covered in scars and fresh cuts.