We didn't give you br a proper send off mum. br (I regret it now) br but then, br I resented br the 'friends' br who never bothered br when you were old br and irritatingly frail. br br So we filled the house with flowers br and Bach br and the bunch who cared. br And dear old Ted br (who used to prune the garden) br offered to br 'do the honors' br with the rose bush. br br Later, br after sandwiches br and Gibran br we traipsed out into the garden. br br Unfortunately br the ashes proved br a tad voluminous br for Ted's carefully prepared resting place, br so I concealed (surreptitiously) br the excess in the cupboard in the hall. br br When I left the conjugal home br some months later, br my ex found your 'brick' br and dumped it on the drive br with a rude note. br br So I took you home br and scattered the other half of you br over my new garden br with my new lover standing beside me. br br And something tells me br dearest mother, br you would have smiled.