The only way i am truly at peace is when i watch the blood flow br dark, thick, warm & flowing, even gushing br from my arms or the throat of another br relieving the pain for now br hands are stained in red again br the only way a sadistic mind functions is by watching others fail br the only real remedy. this is all i ever knew. too different for the others to conceive br every one says......One day you will hit rock bottom br I never hit it, i was born there br don't remember me br never existed br stuck in this head full of pure sick hate. I bring my own pain br always full of rage br hurting for the things I only wish I had br til my bloody hands are wrapped around another's neck br is this going mad? br they'll never understand, br not this time, not ever, not until I complete them. br I look at them from my distant world of fear & despair, br where only br I can survive. br they're so weak, sick and strangely tempting. br I feel my hands call my name, br though it sounds like forks on a plate br or a blackboard scratched with hate, br I have to listen because they're the only friends I ever had. br My tools, br My life, br My heartbeat.